Uryu Minene: User Guide
by dipothebookworm
Summary: Have you purchased an Uryu Minene unit? If so, this highly helpful instructional manual will guide you through all the ups and downs of owning one of these great units. Read and review!


(A/N: Yeah, I've jumped on this bandwagon, SAVE ME. My beloved Minene-sama needed one. Mirai Nikki does not belong to me, but to Sakae Esuno. Read and review! **UPDATE** : I did some spelling edits and added a few more fun things! Have fun and reviewww!)

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a **Uryu Minene** unit. To ensure best use and prevention of terrible death by explosion/implosion (she's creative), please follow this super-handy guide to make sure that you and your unit have the best time possible!

Manufacturing details:

Age: mid-20s

Gender: Female

Height: 168 cm

Weight: 55 kg

Hair color: Purple

Eye color: Purple

Responds to: Uryu, Minene, Ninth, Terrorist (seems extra proud of that last one)

Your unit comes with the following:

 **-Two (2)** sets of black eye patches

 **-One (1)** lavender gothic lolita dress

 **-One (1)** lavender hair accessory

 **-One (1)** dark grey zippered vest

 **-Two (2)** pairs green combat pants

 **-One (1)** pair black combat boots

 **-One (1)** nurse outfit

 **-One (1)** black godly robe

 **-One (1)** police uniform

 **-One (1)** large grey rain poncho

 **-One (1)** strapless white wedding gown

 **-One (1)** bomb detonation tablet/device

 **-Three (3)** flash grenades

 **-Three (3)** grenades

 **-Two (2)** C4 bombs

 **-One (1)** army knife

 **-Two (2)** bundles of dynamite

 **-One (1)** handgun (different makes are available at your discretion)

 **-One (1)** Escape Diary

Optional:

 **-One (1)** death detonation device (this is triggered if the unit stops working. Warning: everything within a 50 m radius WILL EXPLODE)

 **-One (1)** ragged dress (for those into BDSM and torture… you perverts)

Removal of **Uryu Minene** unit from packaging:

 **Uryu Minene** units are highly volatile, so every precaution must be taken in order to safely remove her from her package. Also, she carries many explosives (already referred to) so, try to watch out.

1\. Say that you know what Deus is planning. She will violently burst out of the box and start plotting to overthrow him. While she plots, she is lost in thought and will not attack you. It is then safe to reprogram her.

2\. Wave a bag of freshly baked cream puffs over the box. She will quickly burst through the box, snatch the bag, and eat them (after quickly thanking you). Donuts are effective as well. You can reprogram her while she eats.

3\. Get one **Masumi Nishijima** unit to propose to her. She will get out of the box and scold him (but accept the ring anyway). She can then be reprogrammed.

4\. Procure several chipmunks, and place them near the box. She will quietly come out of the box, and pet them. Reprogramming her is easiest in with this method.

5\. Ask for help with a terrorist plot. While she lectures you on how to pull it off, reprogram her.

Optional: Hardcore opening

1\. Tell her that a **Masumi Nishijima** unit has been killed/injured fatally. She'll go absolutely crazy and tear the box to shreds. We don't really suggest this, as: a) the box shards could fly into your face causing injury, and b) she might detonate the (optional) death device, and with it, herself, you, and anything in a 50 m radius. But hey, live your life, I guess. You already signed the waiver. But if you manage to not get blinded by flying chunks of wood, quickly jump on her back and reprogram her before she does anything silly, like detonating a heart bomb and blowing up your house.

2\. Tell her that you are a **John Bacchus** unit. She will rip the box apart and go straight for your throat. We recommend that only really fit and quick people do this, because if you aren't nimble, she'll rip your throat out. While she throttles you, you can flip her over, get her in an arm bar and reprogram her. Only try this if you are John Cena, by the way.

Your **Uryu Minene** unit is equipped with several modes to enjoy:

Chill (default)

Sarcastic (default)

Troll (option lock)

Angry

Terrorist (locked)

Embarrassed (locked)

Psycho (double locked)

In _Chill_ mode, your unit will be generally relaxed, and not easily provoked. Your **Uryu Minene** unit is usually in this mode when coming out of the box, depending on the method you use to activate her. She will lounge around lazily in this mode, but still chat with you.

When awakened in a less pleasant way, your **Uryu Minene** unit will be in _Sarcastic_ mode. She will tease you, and throw some mild insults around, until she gets bored and goes back to _Chill_ mode.

When your **Uryu Minene** unit is in _Troll_ mode, she will, well, troll you. She's make you run around, doing silly things, and then 'forget' that she told you. She also will play games with you and cheat in outrageously obvious ways just to get you riled. This mode is optionally locked, as it is not dangerous, but can get kind of annoying. Usually happens if she is in _Sarcastic_ mode too long.

While in _Angry_ mode, your unit is not fun to be around. This usually happens if she sees a **Keigo Kurusu** unit or a **John Bacchus** unit. These units have quite a bit of 'history', and she longs to see them die. Please, if your friends own either of those units, keep your **Uryu Minene** unit FAR away from it. Not to mention, she tends to plant explosives in _Angry_ mode, so watch your step . This mode escalates to _Terrorist_ mode quite quickly, so watch out.

 _Terrorist_ mode is locked for your safety, and for the world's safety. While in this mode, she will plot against organized religion, murder people, and blow shit up. It is usually unlocked by her memories of childhood, or watching the news. Do not let her near a TV, or the world will be at stake. It is also highly advised to keep her away from your place of worship, unless you really think that it would look better as an ash hill.

 _Embarrassed_ mode is another locked mode, mainly as it is so rare for the **Uryu Minene** unit. This unit tends to be a loner, and very strong-willed, so she is not easily swayed. Of course, the easiest way to unlock this mode would be to obtain a **Masumi Nishijima** unit. When these units interact, your **Uryu Minene** unit tends to get embarrassed quickly, as the **Masumi Nishijima** unit loves her, and wishes to marry her. She is not totally accustomed to affection, so _Embarrassed_ mode is the default.

 _Psycho_ mode is the most dangerous mode possible for an **Uryu Minene** unit, and we highly advise that you do not try to put her in it. If you think _Terrorist_ mode was bad, then _Psycho_ mode is cataclysmic. This is usually triggered when your **Uryu Minene** unit has nothing left to live for. The way to get her in this mode is to have a **Masumi Nishijima** unit die in front of her (especially after they have interacted a bit), or to have her eye put out. In _Psycho_ mode, your **Uryu Minene** unit will go all out, and simply annihilate anything in her path, and when she dies, the (optional) death detonation device will go off, making sure that everything close to her dies as well. As fun as it may seem to have your **Uryu Minene** unit blow up your school, it is NOT WORTH IT. Do NOT engage _Psycho_ mode. Think of the children.

Relationships with other units:

 **Yukiteru Amano** : These two units have a tenuous relationship at first, considering the whole 'games' thing and trying to murder one another. However, once they team up, she is an encouraging figure to him (which is pretty bad, considering her personality). Nonetheless, these two seem to get along. She will also try to convince him to avoid the **Yuno Gasai** unit (but who wouldn't?).

 **Mur Mur** : These two units dislike each other, as the **Mur Mur** unit likes toying with people and cheating just so she can be entertained. Their relationship is strained, at best. These two are civil, but have little chance of being friendly, unless you get the limited-edition **First-world Mur Mur** , who is much less psychotic.

 **Deus Ex Machina** : These two units are on decent terms, minus the whole 'she hates god' thing, and the fact that he is a god. **Uryu Minene** is the User that he trusts the most, so he gives her half of his godly powers. They can interact without any major incident.

 **Keigo Kurusu** : These units have a dislike of each other, and certainly will backstab each other if given the opportunity. There is no romantic potential for these two in the slightest.

 **Masumi Nishijima** : These units have an interesting relationship. The **Masumi Nishijima** unit will at first want to arrest the **Uryu Minene** unit, but they will spend more time with each other unit he falls for her. After that, he will attempt to woo the **Uryu Minene** unit until she agrees to marry him. They have a very high chance of developing a romantic relationship.

Cleaning:

If you attempt to clean her, she will throw dynamite at you. She can take care of herself, thank you. Although, after their relationship has gotten to a significant level (i.e, marriage), she will allow the **Masumi Nishijima** unit to bathe with her.

Feeding:

The **Uryu Minene** unit will eat anything you give her, she's not picky (plus, all that running from the cops works up a healthy appetite). However, she is partial to donuts, and especially cream puffs.

Rest:

This unit usually gets 6-8 hours of sleep, but in _Chill_ mode, can average up to 12.

Frequently Asked Questions:

 _Q: My unit is muttering a lot, and tinkering with her explosives. Is that bad?_

A: Probably. And remember, any damage caused by an enraged unit is your own responsibility, our company is not liable.

 _Q: My unit seems is going outside a lot, and talks to chipmunks. Is that normal?_

A: Congratulations! You have unlocked _Deredere_ mode! This is achieved by your **Uryu Minene** unit being in _Chill_ mode outside often. In _Deredere_ mode, your unit will be quieter, gentle and sweet, and have a soft spot for cute animals. You want her to be in this mode for a while, it's super moe.

 _Q: My unit saw my grandfather and tried to kill him. Why?_

A: Does your grandfather look like a **John Bacchus** unit? That may be why. Give him a wig and contacts, and he should be fine. She also doesn't like old people, so it could be that, too.

 _Q: My unit is flying. What's up with that?_

A: You have purchased the **Demigod Uryu Minene** unit. This is perfectly normal. With this model, any of the additional **Child** units that you also possess will begin flying and demonstrating godly powers. However, if this freaks you out, or people stare, please return it to the company, and we will send you a regular **Uryu Minene** unit.

Troubleshooting:

 _Problem: Your unit seems… unbalanced._

Solution: Run.

 _Problem: You unit is holding a pin, but the bomb is nowhere to be seen._

Solution: Run.

 _Problem: My unit's arm was dismembered in a fight._

Solution: There is none. Arms don't grow back, silly! You can purchase a new unit, and you will receive a fabulous 10% rebate on it!

 _Problem: My unit has gone missing._

Solution: She was probably kidnapped. Don't worry, she'll be released eventually.

 _Problem: My unit saw my credit card, and she's racking it up with food and explosive purchases!_

Solution: Your fault.

Conclusion:

With lots of affection, _careful_ care and cream puffs, your **Uryu Minene** unit will be a great joy to all! Not to mention, she can make some crazy-cool fireworks displays with the blood of your enemies.

(A/N: How was it? This took a surprisingly short time to write, I had fun. Hopefully, I'll break out of my writing slump and continue my other stories. Tell me how you felt about this fic in the comments! Like and review, lovelies!)


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